Depression is real yet rarely obvious to its victim. It manifests with a lack of interest or enjoyment, feeling empty, low self-worth, lack of concentration, change in eating or sleeping patterns, etc. Here is a story of Valerie
Valerie stands in front of the mirror flaunting her flabby arms while caressing her saggy belly fat laced with an incision of CS (cesarean section). She suddenly says “Bryan was right, I am an amoeba and good for nothing”. “I birthed three beautiful girls and non is alive to wipe my tears”
Her eyes Soares enough to light up a candle. She wept so bitterly that she couldn’t sleep all night. Her hope, aspirations, and dignity seem to crash right before her eyes.
She desires to be emotionally stable and enjoy a healthy relationship but it all seems impossible.
Bryan has all she wants in a man; physique, money, and intellect except for his tongue lash, insensitivity, and often reminiscing on past favours. All these constantly remind her of her place, background, and boundaries with him.
She loves him very much and thinks he feels the same way. She can’t fathom why he often breaks her heart; makes her feel miserable and useless for being nothing more than a maid and babymaker. Whenever any issue springs, their love goes down the drain like it never exists.
At times She wonders if she made the right choice in choosing a life partner.
Last night was no different. He got mad for being served a leftover soup for dinner. His food must be fresh and piping hot. He said bashful things and left with his car key.
The one that pierces Vallerie’s heart was when he says “you are bad luck, good for nothing amoeba. Take a look at yourself, you look like a pregnant frog, with my hard-earned money. All you do is eat, get shapeless, and waste my money on Cs (cesarean section) to birth dead babies…”
Valerie has thought of leaving her marriage many times but reconsiders her options for fear of society and the unknown. She’s an orphan whose uncle struggled to see through school.
After all, he doesn’t beat except for the emotional torture. Society will also not hesitate to tag her as an ingrate for having a man who caters to her needs yet can’t endure or control her emotion to save her marriage. She thought.
At 9:30 am, Valerie hears a knock on her room door. Who could it be? Bryan doesn’t return this time after a fight. He stays away for three or more days or till whenever he feels better. She became scared then a voice echoed through the wall.
“Let’s put the shit behind us, it’s a month of love and I have a gift for you.”
What! How could he forget all he said so easily? Tears rolled down her cheeks. He knows his way of sweeping her emotions under the carpet and getting over their marital issues. He has ways of winning every argument but the wounds it leaves take time to heal.
She begins to wonder if it is love or manipulation.
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Depression
Overview
Depression is the most common psychological disorder in the world. It manifests with a lack of interest or enjoyment, feeling empty, low self-worth, lack of concentration, and change in eating or sleeping patterns. It is predicted by the World Health Organisation (WHO) that depression will be a major disorder that is associated with disability, premature death, and suicide.
When our negative responses to life’s circumstances are overly frequent and intense, we start to exhibit symptoms of depression. We respond to life circumstances in both positive and negative ways such as enthusiasm, frustration, fear, happiness, anxiety, and rage.
It has been proven that there is a correlation between personal and socioeconomic variables such as age, gender, marital status, employment status, income level, fertility, and social status as factors for depressive disorder. All age groups and practically all socioeconomic categories are prone to depression. As far as one’s emotional, financial, societal, and economic needs are not met.
Signs of depression
- Lack of interest/ pleasure in normal activities
- Personality changes
- Feeling weak/ fatigue
- Low energy
- Intense sadness
- Frustration
- Refraining from social interaction
- Frequent mood swings
- Feeling empty
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of concentration
- Weaker memory/memory loss
- Change in sleeping patterns: insomnia or excessive sleeping
- Change in eating patterns: increases or decreased appetite
- Suicidal thoughts/attempts
- Excess weight loss/gain
These issues may persist or become chronic, and can significantly affect individuals. A depressed person experiences symptoms that are typically severe enough to interfere noticeably with daily activities, such as job, school, social interactions, or relationships with others. Some people may feel generally dissatisfied or unhappy without knowing why.
Causes of depression
- Brain chemistry: Depression is caused by neurotransmitters, including serotonin and dopamine, which carry messages between nerve cells in the brain and the chemical in the brain that makes someone feel good.
- Hormone: A change in hormone-secreting glands or hormonal imbalance can result in depression
- Chronic or serious illness: prolonged or severe illness can lead the person to behavioural change which is a vivid sign of depression.
- Genetics: A family history of depression increases the risk of depression. You are three times more likely to experience depression than the general population if you have a first-degree family who has the illness (a biological parent or sibling).
- Major life event: new and big things can cause depression including happy life events like starting a new job, graduating from school, or getting married. Moving, losing a job or source of money, divorcing, or retiring can also do this.
- Abuse: sexual, physical, or emotional abuse can make someone experience depression
Depression is treatable with antidepressants and talk therapy. Would you like to talk to a therapist?
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